Where are my keys, & things Google can't help me find. (Fucking Faeries!)

Monday, May 17, 2010
When we are looking for anything what is the one site we all look to (well most of us)
Yeah well I know I do.
But Google can't help me find my effin Keys! When everyone signed my year book in high school the big thing was what quotes we were known for. Mine?! You guessed it "Where are my Keys?" (<--true story..lol) 
For Xmas one year my mother bought me a device that you could attach to your keys and when you misplaced them you would whistle and a high pitched beep would go off.  
LMAO my mother said it was for blind people to find things they have misplaced. All I could picture was a blind person with a seeing eye dog trotting next to a car with the window down. But I digress. 
Anyhoodle, I got this problem licked now...I have put plastic adhesive hooks right by the door of our apartment and hang them up immediately when I get home. HOWEVER, there are mornings where I am frantically looking for my keys and it is days like these when I know it is time to give some honor to the Fae folk. (Fucking Faeries!)
You see according to Fae fearing folk, Fae are considered "Nature Angels". Unlike angels though these little creatures have egos, and love candy, sweets (especially Gingersnaps) and most like the libations. 
There are different kinds of Fae such as the Fir Darrig Pronounced FEAR DEANG

These are the type that gave me the title for this blog and the ones I curse at when I can't find something. Keys and Scissors anywhere I am be it work or home, they have a particular aversion to. I can lay a pair of scissors down on the desk, go to the other side of the room, return and they are GONE. (FUCKING FAERIES!) 
What I need in my life is a Brownie Fae. These little Fae usually attach themselves to a human or household and are usually helpful. The Guardian Angels of the Fae world if you will.
Needless to say whether it is a Asrais, Troll, Elf, Shefro, Pixie or any other number of Fae we never lack in them that if for sure. Each one of them with a special purpose and most are great!
But seriously...quit taking my stuff... please....can we come to some kind of truce? And for the love of all that is righteous and good give me back my GOD DAMN DIAPHRAGM!  FUCKING FAERIES!!!!!


Kelley Scott said...

You are amazingly funny! I wish I found you a LONG time ago!!!

Arianne Willow Edeline said...

Well thank you but I just started this blog so I don't know where on earth you would have found me....lol. But I appreciate the comment :)

Anonymous said...

Googled Fir Darrig and found your blog...made my day!

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